Bronwyn Jameson ~ Romance Author

The Keys to Effective Dialogue

Effective dialogue isn't boring, mundane or repetitive. It propels the story forward, by providing new information and new character insights, and also engages the reader's interest and (hopefully) emotions.
Dialogue should be true to character and the individual character's voice. All your characters should not sound the same...or just like you (the author.) All characters don't have conversational quirks but the differences come through in simple ways such as word choice, sentence structure, use of modifiers, use of contractions or not, hesitancy or straightforwardness. Make this consistent...or, if inconsistent, give a good reason (fear, shock, nerves, other intense emotion.)
Don’t forget that dialogue takes place within a scene, so include character actions and body language as well as snippets of setting to paint a complete picture that isn’t all aural. And don’t forget the emotional cues. A simple example (from Back In Fortune's Bed, Silhouette Desire, Feb. 2007):

Leaving the restaurant Max paused to squint at the sky. Enough snow had fallen to whiten the pavement and the lamps cast an eerie glow over the streetscape. "Is this snowing?" he asked.

"Almost."

He heard the smile in her voice and felt the brush of body contact as she craned her neck to look past him. He also felt her deep-seated shiver as the wall of cold hit.

"Isn't it pretty?" Her voice held an abstracted note of wonder. "I wish I had my camera!"

"You're shivering too hard to hold it steady."

"No. I'm not."

Amused by her indignation, Max shook his head. "Come on. Let's get you to your car or Alberto will have my hide for not keeping you warm."

"I'm parked a couple of blocks--" she pointed off to their right "--down there."

"A couple of blocks?"

"It's not far."

"Speak for yourself, snow-babe." He hunched deeper into his jacket. "I'd have to walk it two ways."

"You don't have to walk me to my car."

He gave her a yeah, I do look and because he could feel her gathering resistance, took matters into his own hands. With an arm around her shoulder, he tucked her firmly into his side where she had always fit so well - the perfect height, the perfect shape, the perfect response purring through his blood. "I'm parked right here. I'll drive you that couple of blocks."

Clarity. The reader needs to know who is speaking without having to pause and reread the passage. Use character voice, dialogue content, and tags -- both dialogue and action -- to indicate who is speaking...although in a two-person conversation it is not necessary to attribute every line (see example above.)

Dialogue Tags

These attribute the line of dialogue to the person speaking. He said. She remarked. He asked. She replied.

Do consider the following points when using these tags:

Identifying the speaker is the major reason for using them. If the speaker can be identified by what is said or by an action tag, a tag may not be necessary. In my first example (above) there are 12 lines of dialogue and only one dialogue tag (he asked.)
He said, she said, is often invisible to the reader. The reader's eyes glide over them, moving on to the next line of dialogue. Other tags are not so invisible.
Mix them up sometimes for variety, but too many of the visible tags, e.g. he declared, she announced, he retorted, she affirmed, can draw attention away from what is said. Use them by choice, to get a specific way of speaking across, but use them sparingly. Not with every line of dialogue or even every other line of dialogue.
Same with adverbs. Sometimes you want to qualify the tag. He spoke quietly. She answered hurriedly. Other times you can use a strong verb instead. He whispered. She babbled. And sometimes the dialogue tag is better replaced with a phrase that says more. His voice was barely audible. The words rushed out, tumbling one on top of the other like spilled marbles.

Action Tags

These work double duty, attributing the dialogue line to the speaker while also showing some action which clues the reader into their emotional state and/or their placement in the scene. The reader can SEE the action, as well as HEAR the dialogue. These are powerful tools when used with finesse, but if detailed and/or overused they can slow down the pacing of the scene. Conversely, they can be simple and used merely to provide variety from the speech tags. "No need.” Tristan’s gaze shifted to Vanessa. “I lived here for twelve years.”

“Sorry to interrupt.” Even though she addressed her boss, the housekeeper’s gaze flicked over Tristan, not curious, not nervous, but sizing him up. “Andy needs to speak to you.” Notice that there is no need for a dialogue tag such as she said. We know it is the housekeeper speaking. And from this line we get a visual of how she is giving Tristan the once-over. See how that adds impact, simply, to the dialogue?

Vanessa paused, just long enough to cast a long, frosty look over one shoulder. “Believe me. I never do anything on your account.” Again, no dialogue tag necessary. We know from the action - Vanessa paused - that she is the speaker. And we know from the look she gives him and the dialogue line, exactly how she delivers that zinger, which adds emotional power in a simple, effective way.

She indicated a wingback chair with one hand. “Would you like to sit?" No speech tag necessary, and we can see the gesture. Double duty, see?

[These examples are from The Bought-and-Paid-For Wife, Silhouette Desire, Aug 06.]

Punctuation

How to punctuate around dialogue appears to create problems for many new writers. If you stick to a few basic principles, which are best illustrated with examples, you can't go too far wrong.

1. Use a comma between dialogue and the dialogue tag.

“The invitation is for you,” she said.

“I’d rather not go,” he remarked.

Note that facial gestures are NOT dialogue tags. Examples: he grimaced, she smiled, he laughed. These are actions, NOT a way of speaking, and therefore they are action tags, not dialogue tags. See the difference?

2. Use a full-stop between dialogue and an action tag.

“The invitation is for you.” She smiled and handed it over.

“I’m not going.” He tossed the card onto the table.

3. Use an ellipsis when the dialogue trails off, such as a pause or a hesitation instituted by the speaker.

“I think this is yours...” Her voice trailed off uncertainly.

4. Use an em-dash to indicate interruption by the other speaker.

“I want you to reconsider your—”

“Do you think I care?” he interrupted. “I'm not going.”

Note that the punctuation mark--the comma, the ellipsis, the em-dash, the question mark--is placed inside or within the quotation (dialogue) marks.

Mixing It Up

The key to an effective conversational exchange lies in what's said. Nothing can make up for dull dialogue. But you can enhance your characters' repartee with a judicious mix of dialogue and action tags, creating a rhythm that draws the reader through the passage and building a scene that sucks the reader into the characters' world. Don't forget those little cues of setting, don't forget the individual character's voice, don't forget the emotion...whether that is passionate, angry, winsome, poignant, warm, tender, cold, funny, whatever.( Excerpt from Back In Fortune's Bed, Silhouette Desire, February 07):

Following the low murmur of Jeffrey's voice, Diana turned the corner in the L-shaped gallery and stopped short. Jeffrey and Max were studying her exhibit. The smile froze on her face, even as her heart lurched to life.

She hadn't expected to see him until late in the afternoon, when she'd suggested his prints would be ready to collect.

"Ah, there you are!"

It was Jeffrey who spoke, but her eyes were on Max as he turned. There was something in his expression, a slow burn of appreciation that caused her heart to beat faster, and she couldn't look away.

Then Jeffrey cleared his throat, loudly, and she realized how long the silence had stretched.

"You're early," she said hurriedly. "I've only just finished printing and there is still some--''

"I'm not here for my photos," he assured her. "I'm here to look at yours."

Oh.

"Max was particularly keen to see your winter compilation," Jeffrey said. "He has good taste."

And a good sense of which particular flattery might turn her head, Diana thought, recovering from her initial response to his presence. She'd invited him to do his worst and this, most likely, was it. With measured steps she approached the two men, her chary gaze sliding from Jeffrey's face to Max's and then on to the series of pictures she called her Gothics. The Fortune family's big estate house with its dark stone façade, its stark black-roofed angles and wrought iron gables, the imposing array of chimneys and lighthouse cupolas that jutted into the sky...all set against the stark white of a heavy Christmas snowfall. Looking at these pictures always gave her a deep-seated chill.

"Well?" she asked. "What do you think?"

"The truth?"

Diana hazarded a sideways glance and found him studying her, not the pictures. She ignored the little flutter in her pulse. "Of course I want to hear what you really think. Go ahead. Be brutal."

One eyebrow crooked, as though asking if she was sure, and she made a go-ahead gesture with her hand. He turned back to the pictures. "They're cold," he said without preamble. "No life, no color, no movement." His gaze flicked back to hers. "I gather that's the point?"